Leaders want to know: how do I lead my teams through hard or difficult times?

Leading others through difficult times requires the sometimes-intimidating task of having hard conversations. Many leaders and even many church pastors feel tension around addressing some of the hard issues we are facing today. According to a comprehensive religious freedom report by the Barna Group (2019), 9 out of 10 pastors believe that helping Christians have biblical beliefs around specific issues is a major part of their role as clergy. Yet, according to Barna Group president David Kinnaman, “pastors actually feel pressured to not preach on certain topics.”

The truth is leadership is hard. We don’t always get it right, even after having a whole year of exercising leadership practices. At times leadership can be so rewarding and productive. Other times leadership can be frustrating and leave you feeling unsure and discouraged. I can’t tell you the number of times I questioned if I was in the right lane.

God uses his people, to lead his people, and his call includes sacrifice. Just like God called Moses, he has called you. Just like he called Joshua, he’s called you. When Moses was called he was reluctant. He was afraid, uncertain, even shy. But he answered the call! Moses had to sacrifice to answer the call of God. With each call there is sacrifice. We rarely think about what Moses’ leadership would have looked like without the sacrifices he had to make. Do not forget that Moses was raised a prince. He had a background in good living. Yes, Moses was one of the greatest leaders ever, but his success did not come without great sacrifice.

I spoke at a women’s retreat recently and during the lunch break I had a crazy experience. I almost died. 

Dramatic, I know, but let me tell you the story. It’s a short one. Basically, I tried to swallow a piece of fajita meat and it lodged in my throat. Right there. At the table. I couldn’t get it to go down or come back up. It just sat there, filling up my airspace. Within seconds, panic was welling up within me. Two women leapt to my rescue, but at that moment I finally coughed hard enough to dislodge it.

Ten seconds of total fear. 

Meet Bev Amsbary-Davenport!

Bev and Luann spent a half hour together talking about Bev’s years serving as director of womens ministries at Emmanuel Faith church in Escondido, California. Bev began serving in the high school department until one day, her pastor Dr. Richard Strauss invited Bev to be the first director of women.

Bev was a gifted pioneer overseeing 30 different ministries for women.

Divorce rates have been climbing and Christian marriages are not exempt. With increasing numbers, marital discord has been at an all-time high even before the pandemic. More and more this challenge is bringing increased calls from church members for counseling. What happens, however, if your marriage is the one in crisis? When a woman is invested in working alongside her pastor-husband, is part of a pastoral staff, or in another leadership position, the pressures of the calling can leave little strength to devote to her own relationships. So, what can you do if you find your marriage in crisis?

Hint: People in leadership are imperfect people who are in the process of becoming more like Christ. They are just like everyone else.

One of the best tools I have uncovered lately to help me get to know myself is the Enneagram. Discovering that I am a Two has helped me understand how I am wired on the inside, both positively and negatively, and how I can let God develop the dark side of my personality type into a positive for His Kingdom.

Soon after I stepped into ministry leadership (before I accepted the role as Director of Women’s Ministry), a long-time friend said God told her to pray for me. She never asked for a prayer list, but she would let me know she was praying. She was like Aaron and Hur. God provided her to lift me up as I was “doing battle” that comes with ministry.

What is the “Elijah Syndrome”? In the book of 1 Kings, chapters 17-19, Elijah is following God’s call and standing up to King Ahab. After God reveals his power over Baal by raining fire from heaven, Elijah runs to the mountains when he hears that Jezebel has threatened to kill him. When God comes looking for him, Elijah replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too” (1 Kings 19:10).

The most hurtful words I received while serving on a church staff were from women who disagreed with my calling from God to teach his Word.

I had stepped into my leadership role during a leadership change at our church. At that time, our church was changing and morphing in many ways. In those early days of my leadership, we had a saying that we were “doing a church plant in a 100-year-old church with buildings and a budget.” Change is hard. While I had previously held a leadership position in a parachurch organization, I had not held a leadership position in the church. This was different. People were the focus rather than the process. But the process was changing and morphing.

Twenty-four years ago, I wondered what role women had in Church, beginning a lifelong journey of questioning, serving, and then questioning some more. All while simply being available to where God would have me.

My questioning stemmed from having been raised as a missionary kid (MK) in France with exposure to various theological perspectives from multiple denominations. Because there were so few evangelical Christians in France, our local church was composed of a Mennonite family on one end of the evangelical spectrum to a Pentecostal family on the other end. At one time there were 17 different nationalities represented in our congregation of just over 100 people. As an elder-led congregation, each member of the board taught when we were in-between pastors. Different male and female worship leaders led the congregation in a time of worship, Scripture reading, and prayer before the sermon. So, I was accustomed to experiencing the Bible from various denominations, geographical influences, and social economic brackets.

Why do couples leave the ministry? Of the many rumors that swirl around a pastor’s resignation, we don’t often consider the hardship that ministry places on the pastor’s wife and on their marriage. Women married to pastors are often living in a fishbowl—facing unique challenges.