Christmas morning...

The cold gray San Joaquin Valley fog seemed to close in around me as I drove. The morning had already been filled with experiences and circumstances that left me feeling as cold and gray on the inside as the fog appeared on the outside. My thoughts replayed the phone conversations, the people I loved and cared about, the hurts and struggles.

A dear family, trying to get through this Christmas, hearts aching with grief. Their precious daughter’s sudden death at the age of 40, the second daughter they had lost, had left them with heart-crushing pain and unanswerable questions.

Another friend was also grieving the loss of her daughter, a victim of AIDS. Her daughter’s life had been dramatically transformed by the Lord, and she spent her final years loving and serving Him, but the consequences of her former life of drug addiction still resulted in her early physical death. And the mother’s heart was grieving the loss of her only child.

Someone else had called, crying, deeply hurt by the angry words spoken by another. Now they weren’t going to be together for this Christmas Day.

My own family, each suffering the devastating effects of divorce. Broken relationships, tarnished memories, deep wounds. My heart broken over the pain my sons were experiencing, my own deep regrets and guilt over wrong choices that were made, the sense of hopelessness that comes from knowing there’s nothing you can do about it now.

I had driven through town, seeing the Christmas lights sparkling, listening to Christmas songs on the radio, watching as families got out of their cars, gathering together at homes. And the further I drove out into the country, the thicker the fog became on the outside, and the more despair I felt inside. Pulling up to a stop sign, I sat there feeling as alone as I’ve ever felt, hurting for others, hurting for myself.

“But God, it’s Christmas morning. It’s not supposed to be like this,” I cried out.

Then I “heard” in my heart a very unexpected reply...

“In all these things is the true meaning of Christmas.

A world desperately in need of a Savior.

Lives broken and bruised by the consequences of sin.

Hurts that can’t be healed in any other way.

For God so loved the world, that He sent His only begotten Son...”

THIS IS the true meaning of Christmas.”

I sat in awe, sensing the very presence of God. In an instant, the meaning of Christmas had become simpler, yet infinitely more profound. Suddenly, it was as though my eyes had been opened to see past the fog of circumstances, past the cold gray of emotions, to the bright reality of the Christ of Christmas.

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord...Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill to men.’    Luke 2:11,13

I saw how I had complicated and confused the simple message of Christmas. I was longing for the warm fuzzy feelings, desperately wanting happy family times again, worrying about what gifts to give, singing familiar carols. All had only left me feeling empty and sad inside with a bundle full of expectations that I felt weren’t being met.

Yes, I still felt sadness about circumstances in my life and the lives of others, but now it all was set against a much clearer and hope-filled perspective. Jesus is Immanuel, God with us. He is the light in our darkness, redeemer in seemingly hopeless situations, comfort in our sorrow, grace and mercy in our regrets.

Our Christmas traditions and warm sentiments are good, yet they can be so fleeting and fragile. The hope and joy found in the truths of the Christmas story are eternal and secure.

Elaine has been part of NEWIM for over two decades. She has served on the Springs team in Three Rivers since its beginning, 17 years ago. She is the author of Tapestry, a book of devotion articles. She lives in Fresno, CA and attends Campus Bible Church. You can say hi to Elaine at <elainemarie2@sbcglobal.net>.