An emergency vehicle traveling down the street in my neighborhood woke me last night. Lights were flashing and sirens blaring as it traveled to aid a family in an emergency. In the morning, I went through my usual routine, dressed, and took my little Shih Tzu, Diva, for a walk. After walking for a couple of blocks, I noticed that there was yellow caution tape around the front of a house. This beautiful home, with its well-manicured lawn and pristine white columns and window frames, had been gutted by fire. There was water still dripping down the front of the façade, like giant tear drops hurting from the devastation inside. The only thing standing was the charred framework where rooms once were; the foundation was intact, but visibly marred by the fire. I took a moment to pray for this family and hoped they had insurance to cover the massive damage to their beautiful home.

Like this home before the fire, my life on the outside was pristine, well taken care of, and easy on the eyes. I never allowed the world to see how sin was destroying me on the inside. I had a façade that I showed the world each day, but the turmoil on the inside was killing me. Like that fire-gutted home, I was empty inside. I doubted God’s infinite love for me because of the sin in my life.

My life had plenty of rubble. It was such a challenge for me to surrender my plans, hopes, fears, and need to be in control over to Jesus and allow him to be my guide, teacher, and the unconditional lover of my soul. I know we all come from diverse backgrounds and life experiences, and this may not be your story, but personally, I found it uncomfortable to receive. I wanted to be the captain of my ship and the master of my own fate. I did not realize that this was where the embers of sin began to set fires in my life. A little lie here, click an ember; a little selfishness there, click an ember; an illicit relationship over there, click an ember. Before I knew it, a full-blown fire was out of control in my life.
 
I had to let go of the façade I had been hiding behind—my fears, my sins (respectable or not) which were adding fuel to the fire—and instead, hold on to the truths of Scripture:

• We have the sacrifice of Jesus to cover our sins. “For God so loved the world he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

• The cornerstone of our faith, Jesus Christ, has been laid by God. “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed” (Isaiah 28:16).

• God is working for me. "The arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ears too dull to hear" (Isaiah 59:1).

Jesus rescued me from the rubble and made me his sanctified reward.

I now know God is honest and pure, and his love and blessings are free. He will always lead me and satisfy my needs in a sun-scorched land (Isaiah 58:11). Knowing God our Father is indeed the greatest gift I could ever receive. God is rebuilding my house, and I am now able to receive his plan for me. His love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (I looked it up, and always means, “on all occasions, every time, without exception.”)  I can accept his boundless love because his love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).
 
God will rebuild your house, too. He puts scaffolding around us to help shore up the areas in our lives that need help. He will provide a strong community of believers we can lean on when we are weak. Like new construction, our faith frame is weak and must be straightened, readjusted, and set firm. God is building our character with each test in our lives. God will strengthen your frame (Isaiah 58:11). You are not alone! Keep your eyes on Jesus. In his light, all things become new.
 
"May the Lamb receive his reward for his suffering. And let it begin with me.” I heard this statement recently at a NEWIM Springs Retreat, and it really caught my attention. What was the Lord’s reward? Philippians 2:6-11 tells us that after Jesus' death on the cross, God exalted him to the highest place and every knee shall bow before him and every tongue shall confess that he is Lord. Did you get it? We are the Perfect Sacrifice’s reward! We are the joy set before him (Hebrews 12:2). He has given us everything so we can spend eternity with him. We are not rubble. We are the Lord’s reward.

Let’s be fully his.

Rugena has attended NEWIM Silent Retreats in Three Rivers for the past 9 years. NEWIM has helped bring clarity to her purpose for the Kingdom and surrounds her with like-minded sisters in Christ She currently serves as the Registrar for the Springs Santa Cruz Team.

Rugena lives in So. Orange County, CA and attends Saddleback Valley Community Church. 
Say hello to Rugena at rugenad@icloud.com